Postpartum Babymoon and Tips for Social Distancing

When we are pregnant, it is easy to focus on the pregnancy and the impending birth.  While is it great to focus on the present and important to prepare for the monumental experience of birth, it is also crucial that expectant mamas (and their loved ones!) think about and plan for Life After Birth.  Postpartum is a special time that deserves careful planning and consideration. While the postpartum period is customarily thought of as the first 6 weeks after birth; many midwives, health providers and mothers recognize that postpartum extends beyond this initial intense period of transition and healing. 

With social distancing being a must during this time of COVID-19, there are some extra precautions to make when planning your baby moon currently.

Here are some things to consider when planning for your postpartum babymoon .

1.    Late Pregnancy Health: Nourish and Rest

A person’s health in late pregnancy can have a profound effect on her experience of birth and the postpartum period.  Someone whose reserves are low going into birth and motherhood may find the journey much more arduous than the person who makes self care a priority in the last weeks and months of pregnancy (of course, we encourage prioritizing self-care no matter where you are at!).

Late pregnancy should be a time to rest as much as possible.  Let’s repeat that, because it is important: women in late pregnancy benefit from resting as much as possible.  Light exercise and excellent nutrition are also paramount to this time.

Rest enhances recovery and reduces stress.  Lowered stress means a stronger immune system, better personal relationships, lowered risk of postpartum depression, and a more supported mother-baby bond.

*Be sure to do your best staying home right now as an effort to keep you and your partner healthy before the birth. Order your groceries and essentials rather than going out the the stores. Treat yourself to some take-out one or two nights per week if you can.

2.    Become educated about new parenthood

In our modern reality, many of us are not exposed to babies and new parenthood as much as our grandmothers and those before her were.  While so much of parenting is instinctual and intuition, seeking community wisdom and knowledge can make you a more confident new parent.

Take time to learn about breastfeeding.  All our patients meet with our lactation specialist during their third trimester. We also have a fantastic Breastfeeding Class.  La Leche League is one great resource for all things breastfeeding and they have some excellent books available. 

Learn about newborns (their needs, rhythms, etc) and learn about what is common for parents to experience physically and emotionally after birth. During your Early Home Care class at Health Foundations you will learn all about what is common and normal for baby and mom during the early weeks at home.

*All of our classes are currently virtual at Health Foundations.

3. Familiarize yourself with the common needs of new parents (and share with your support circle!)

Put simply, a new parent needs someone who will meet their needs so that they can meet the needs of their baby.  New parents in the postpartum period also need:

• Lots of rest

• Time and space for reflection and processing

• Someone who will guard her privacy

• To feel honored, protected, and nurtured

• Praise, encouragement, and validation

• Noncritical support and advice

• A good, nonjudgmental listener

• Time out daily for a bath, nap, or quiet time

• Nourishing food and drink

• Time to bond with baby

• Reprieve from the demands of daily life

*Because during COVID19 it is so important to limit visitors. Your partner or spouse will be your main support during this time. If you are single, it will be important to find a dedicated support person. Health Foundations has a private Facebook pregnancy and postpartum group for our clients. You can sign up here.

4.    Make a Postpartum Plan

Making a postpartum plan is an important pre-baby activity for an expectant woman and her partner and/or support circle.  The first two weeks are all about mom and baby—establishing a bond, establishing breastfeeding, healing from childbirth, and getting to know one another.  The postpartum plan should be all about supporting mama and baby in those early weeks.

At Health Foundations, we really want our families to REST during the postpartum period and especially those first two precious weeks.  We recommend mamas stay in bed for the first week, except bathroom and bath breaks and NO stairs.  In the second week, we recommend mostly bed rest with a stair set once a day, max.  In the third week, you can begin slowly reintroducing additional activities, though we recommend a max of one short outing per day.  Evidence shows that the more you rest in these early weeks, the faster you heal, the quicker your bleeding will subside, and the better you will feel.

Delegate Responsibility

Given this, it is important to make a plan for how your usual activities will happen (or not happen).  It’s a good idea to make a list of your responsibilities, delegate tasks that need to be done, and put off or plan ahead for other tasks.  Here are some examples:

• Laundry—perhaps your partner or support person washes the laundry and folds it, or maybe you fold it on the bed

• Cleaning—don’t clean! Don’t even look at what might need cleaning! Or if something absolutely needs to be done, delegate.

• Grocery and other shopping—try to stock up on non-perishables ahead of time (plan to have enough toilet paper, etc. on hand for a month). You can also shop online for food and other items, which can be delivered to your door.

• Cooking/meal preparation—if you can, try to prepare and freeze two weeks’ worth of meals to have on hand for the postpartum. Nutrition is very important for new mamas so consider simple nourishing balanced meals. Also, learn about take out and delivery restaurants in your area and give them a try or at least snag menus to consider for easy meals. There are registry websites, like foodtidings.com and mealbaby.com that can help coordinate meal offerings from friends and family. *If you choose to do a meal train, leave a cooler out in front of your door outside to limit people coming inside.

• Bills—consider starting online bill pay, if that makes it easier (it may be easier to click a button than fill out paperwork!) or delegate this task to another house member

• Older Children—if you have older kids, make a plan for how they will be cared for once new baby arrives—can they stay at a friend or relative’s home for a couple days? Will the other parent or another family/friend be “in charge”? Will these children attend daycare/camp/school and how will they get there? How can you prepare them for the changes to come? How can you make this time special for them? *If it is someone other that your partner, be sure that person has been following social distancing guidelines.

• Visitors—Just like in birth, your partner or other close support person should protect your privacy and your boundaries during the postpartum, communicating with eager loved ones about how and when you are up for company. If you are not ready for visitors, it’s okay to ask people to hold off on visits until you are ready (baby will still be there!). You might also consider a “visiting hour” during which people can stop by shortly. Consider asking your go-to person to make it clear to others that visits are best kept on the shorter side and that visitors are welcome to bring a meal or help out while they are over—maybe they take out the trash, load the dishwasher, change over the laundry, water plants, etc.

  • *During COVID-19 we do not recommend any visitors. Stick to FaceTime for now.

• Make it special—This is a precious time of strengthening the love bonds between family members. It’s also a time to treat yourself with the utmost care. How will you make it special? Consider gifting yourself with little treats during this time, you deserve it after the hard work of carrying and birthing your baby!

During your babymoon, you might:

• Take sitz baths at least once a day

• Change into a new outfit, open the windows, and welcome each new day

• Look through albums of favorite trips or special memories

• Journal about your experiences (they are often profound even despite the sleep-deprivation!)

• Rest, rest, rest!

• Eat your favorite meals

• Drink lots of fluids

• Be unreasonably kind to yourself

Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and enlist help in meeting your needs in the postpartum.  In the words of midwife Aviva Jill Romm:  “In order to fully nourish your family, you must have reserves to draw on—you need to be a full well.  Every bit of help you receive adds to your reserves. Planning ahead for postpartum care ensures that you will have the help and support necessary to keep your well full.”

Photo credit: Allie Laurtison